Nonduality and the Psychotherapy of Transcendence

How does nonduality relate to psychotherapy? How might it be distinct? Is nonduality a method or approach to psychotherapy? What does nonduality offer psychotherapy?

In order to answer these questions we must start with how we understand who and what we are and what therapy is. In technical terms (which you can leave aside if you choose) we must try to understand the ontology behind our approach in order to understand the epistemology. That is, we must be differentiate how each approach sees itself in relationship to the process of being human or if you favor redundancy, being a human being.

Encyclopedias could be written about what psychotherapy actually is. Generally speaking, we can think of psychotherapy as an interpersonal methodology applied with the intent of helping the client develop awareness/insight and into their mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns in order to facilitate change. Some schools of therapy may frame therapy more centrally as a process of skill-building also aimed at facilitating change.

In either instance, therapy operates within a primarily secular worldview that is both individual to each therapist, and in the context of the therapeutic interaction intends to stand outside of belief (unless that is we specifically seek out a faith-based therapist) resulting in opaque or inexplicit ontology. Yet, whether or not belief is explicit it is impossible that the therapist and client would not include their respective world-views in the therapy process. Meaning, how the clients understand themselves in relationship to their world and existence must be part of the therapy process and by proxy how their therapist understands themselves in relationship to the world is impossible to eradicate from the therapy process, no matter how client-centered our values are.

Why am I making this point? Well the aim of conventional psychotherapy methods are built upon presuppositions that both client and therapist bring into the room. In the most general, structural sense some of these presuppositions are:

• the client exists as a sense-of-self

• the client is experiencing problems related to that sense-of-self

• those problems are related to one or more areas of dysfunction within the sense-of-self system

• those problems may be explained variably by different epistemological and etiological concepts (i.e. therapeutic theories and methodologies).

• emotional and relational development are emphasized as structurally formative factors in problems with the sense-of-self

• therapy seeks to ameliorate problems of the sense-of-self

These presuppositions are distinct from a nondual orientation to therapy which may respond to each point as such:

• the client sense-of-self exists as a relativity (some schools of psychotherapy may agree) and from another perspective the sense-of-self is non-existent; it is empty of self-nature

• “Problems,” or the roots of mental affliction, arise from the client’s identification with the sense-of-self as being substantial

• investment in remedying the sense-of-self reinforces the belief that the sense-of-self is ultimately existent and important

• Nonconceptual/Nondual Awareness is the ground of all experience

• the experiential revelation of Nonconceptual Awareness naturally divests energy from the identification with the sense-of-self, emphasizing experiential selfless spaciousness

• the conceptual mind may or may not naturally re-assert itself into Nonconceptual space

• The conceptual mind is divested of it’s relevance

• Resting in experiential selfless spaciousness

• Problems can not be constituted; awareness is unstructured; there is no it, there is no that, there is no I, there is no there.

The aims of conventional and nondual psychotherapy are different. Conventional therapy is a useful and important endeavor. It often implies certain presuppositions that are not explicit, however the reality is that most people who go to therapy find it helpful. In therapy we look at how we became who we are identified with today, and how certain patterns of emotion, affect, and thought serve or do not serve us— broadly speaking.

Nondual therapy is a totally transpersonal-consciousness based approach which is based on going beyond identification with the sense-of-self to an innate, experiential ground of being that has nothing to do with who we think we are. This is a psychotherapy of transcendence.

Boundaries 101

Boundaries are an often cited, yet commonly misconstrued psychological idea. Difficulty with boundaries is one of the most common issues I see with clients dealing with a variety of presenting problems—from anxiety, and depression to life transitions and relationship conflict. I had the good fortune of completing a two year training with the former Bay Area affiliate of the John Bradshaw Center where a premium was placed on learning boundaries.

Perhaps the easiest example of a boundary system is that of the cell wall. Simply put, cell walls keep out the bad stuff and let in the good stuff. While that may be an oversimplification, it is a helpful guiding principal. Similarly, our boundaries are a part of our emotional self-care system. They express a limit, whether that be physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, or spiritual. When we have poor boundaries, we open ourselves to harmful experiences or dissatisfactory relationships. On the other hand, if we have too rigid of boundaries, we might not let in some of the emotional nourishment we need.

I teach people that boundaries are always connected to our feelings and needs. You might say that feelings are our best guides to our needs and limits. Often when people come to therapy, they have difficulty identifying their feelings. This is common, and not a reason to feel shame. However, when we have difficulty identifying our feelings, it is very hard to ask for what we need in relationship and to set limits.

The first step in having good boundaries is to develop awareness of our feeling states. How do I experience myself when I am angry? Sad? Ashamed? Scared? Hurt? Knowing the cues to these emotional experiences allow us to plug into our emotional self-care system, to clearly define our needs and limits. For example if I know I am sad, I might just need to ask for some reassurance or for someone else to listen while I express my feelings. If I’m frustrated or resentful with someone else, its very possible I have been neglecting my boundaries. If these feelings arise, there is always an opportunity to check in with myself and say… “Do I have a limit here that I haven’t expressed?” “Is there something I am needing that I haven’t asked for?”

Boundary work is a practice. It’s an ongoing learning process that takes time, self-observation, and self-love. We are all works in progress. I am confident that you can learn boundary skills and that knowing these skills will benefit you greatly. I will post more in the future about this very important topic, but for now… be well!